i absolutely love running. and i need it too. not for fitness but for mental health! when i dont get out in the fresh air and do something- anything- that physically pushes me really hard i get grumpy and mean. not to the world of course... i am very good at being fun and polite in any situation. but it gets me at home where i am the most comfortable and around the people that i love the most. and that just isnt right- shouldnt i be grumpy and mean to people i dont care about?!
i have the nicest, most loving husband and the cutest little baby in the whole world. they deserve a wife and mommy that is patient and ready for fun. not a lady that will put on a smile for everyone but them. just ask andy! when i dont get out for just one week- he will straight up tell me "you need to run or surf". and thats when i know that im being a jerk for no reason.
i mean that a couple months ago i was bound and determined to run a half marathon because i know that i can. now i have come to realize that i cant train properly for that and dont want to make the time. it is a tough choice because i am very competitive and usually want to be the best at everything i do and dont settle until i am- but running 5 and 10k's are amazing for me! i am proud that i can do those! i want to be able to divide my spare time and be able to run, surf, garden, build stuff, AND teach jackson all the things that andy and i love. being a wifey, mom of a 1 year old, and owning and operating a successfull business doesnt leave tons of time so every minute is precious. so although i may not be doing any marathons- i will be kicking ass at all kinds of cool shit.
sidenote- i don't want this in any way to discourage other women from training. i have (and always have had) lots of hobbies so this is the choice that works for me and my life, but i will be 100% behind anyone and everyone that has dreams of long distance running and hope they dont ever stop trying until they reach their goal. when it gets hard and you get tired i hope you keep going and remember your first thoughts about what you wanted the outcome to be. its hard for me to accept that i cant be a professional at every sport and afer 26 years i have realized that- i either have to pick one and thats the only one- or do many and just be in it for the fun. so i am choosing many.