body image issues

i want to know WHO the jerk is who invented negative body images because i’m going to kick his fanny.  i have been thinking about this for over a week now.. why do women think they are fat/flabby/ugly/whatever????  it is driving me nuts!!!

i have decided that there are two reasons-

1.  society has programmed into our brains the supermodel image (totally unrealistic, but probably leads to the latter…)

2.  society has programmed that loving your body is not normal and only megasluts show their stuff off. and to be respectable you need to hide it.

now don’t get me wrong- i don’t think that i am some model hottie and perfectly toned lady- but i don’t think i’m fat or ugly!  and in no way am i saying that we all should be walking around the supermarket with a gnarly mid-drift or bootie shorts.  but what about the times when it is appropriate??? at the beach, the lake, your own backyard- or running 3 miles up and down hills in 90 degree heat.  even then its still not ‘ok’ to skimp on the clothes. 

all (all of you, every single one) of my friends are gorgeous and have their own beautiful traits and should be so proud of how they look and know that NONE OF US would look at them weird or think less of them in any way if they went to the beach in a bikini.  if anything most would be jealous that one had the guts to do it.  NEWSFLASH it shouldn’t take guts!! YOU LOOK GOOD DONT BE SCARED! so you’re not perfect- but you are all damn close!  so take off your shirts!!

one day, that will be here sooner than we all know… we will be 70 years old, and really will be flabby and totally should not let it all hang out- and you will look back at pictures and think- “i was sooooo beautiful, and didn’t even know.  everybody told me and i didn’t listen.  I did have a perfect body! damn i looked good!”

I don’t have a perfect body image and struggle too, but i am comfortable with who i am.  i eat ok (not perfect but i kinda try) i get exercise (not as much as i should but i try), i have a life and i want to enjoy it!  so live it up ladies- none of us are gross in anyway and i just want you to love yourselves as much as I love you. :)

running?

i absolutely love running. and i need it too. not for fitness but for mental health! when i dont get out in the fresh air and do something- anything- that physically pushes me really hard i get grumpy and mean. not to the world of course... i am very good at being fun and polite in any situation. but it gets me at home where i am the most comfortable and around the people that i love the most. and that just isnt right- shouldnt i be grumpy and mean to people i dont care about?!

i have the nicest, most loving husband and the cutest little baby in the whole world. they deserve a wife and mommy that is patient and ready for fun. not a lady that will put on a smile for everyone but them. just ask andy! when i dont get out for just one week- he will straight up tell me "you need to run or surf". and thats when i know that im being a jerk for no reason.

so i joined running grrrl running team (runninggrrrl.com) and it has helped keep me in check. the love and support and knowing ladies are in the same boat as me is unexplainably radical. i was very gung-ho at first (not to say that that has deminished at all..) but now i feel so much better that i want to get back to the orriginal athletic outlets that i loved. (surfing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, building stuff) running will always be there- but for now i will get realistic about what i thought i wanted regarding running long distance runs.

i mean that a couple months ago i was bound and determined to run a half marathon because i know that i can. now i have come to realize that i cant train properly for that and dont want to make the time. it is a tough choice because i am very competitive and usually want to be the best at everything i do and dont settle until i am- but running 5 and 10k's are amazing for me! i am proud that i can do those! i want to be able to divide my spare time and be able to run, surf, garden, build stuff, AND teach jackson all the things that andy and i love. being a wifey, mom of a 1 year old, and owning and operating a successfull business doesnt leave tons of time so every minute is precious. so although i may not be doing any marathons- i will be kicking ass at all kinds of cool shit.

sidenote- i don't want this in any way to discourage other women from training. i have (and always have had) lots of hobbies so this is the choice that works for me and my life, but i will be 100% behind anyone and everyone that has dreams of long distance running and hope they dont ever stop trying until they reach their goal. when it gets hard and you get tired i hope you keep going and remember your first thoughts about what you wanted the outcome to be. its hard for me to accept that i cant be a professional at every sport and afer 26 years i have realized that- i either have to pick one and thats the only one- or do many and just be in it for the fun. so i am choosing many.